I like to rant...I like to go off and throw a hissy fit every now and then. I try not to do it too often, because I usually end up hurting someone's feelings and/or making someone mad. It's a predicament that I find myself in often believe it or not.
People tend to call me a bitch, and I'm ok with that. I can be at times, I know this. But in reality, most people just can't handle the truth. Especially about themselves. I'm not perfect, God knows I have flaws, but I don't pretend I am either. And I don't do any of the stupid things that I'm about to rant about....
If you read this and disagree with me, start to hate me, whatever it is...please feel free to contact me either via fb, or my phone if you have my number, I'll gladly have a talk with you about this. But remember, I'm not pointing out any names, so what exactly do you have a guilty conscience about? ;)
Airing your dirty laundry, then getting mad cause someone see's your bloomers...
Ok people, understand this: if you post something on facebook/twitter/any other social networking site, anybody can read it. Literally, ANYBODY. So, when you do this a lot and then post a controversial status, or say something about someone or whatever, and someone says something in return that would be considered "calling you out" on your BS; you CAN'T say "mind your own business!!". You just can't. One, it makes you look incredicly ignorant when you say this when posting on a status of your own, because obviously if YOU posted online about it and people are reading it...how is it just YOUR business anymore? It's not. Two, seriously?! You can't keep "your business" to YOURself when it's on the internet. It's like posting something and then saying "omg, but don't tell anyone about this, k? It's on the DL and is a super big secret!!" No. President Obama can now read that status and realize that he REALLY should do something with the education system that would help raise levels of common sense.
"I bet you think my status is about you. Don't you...Don't you"
Oh social networking...how you betray us. Not. Even though a vast majority of the human race thinks the other vast majority is ignorant...that is not the case. Humans are extremely intelligent people...for the most part...and when they're not being prodded by a guilty conscience.
Let me give an example. Lets say that I update my status, or tweet, and say something along the lines of "OMG! I am so fed up with skank all over my newsfeed! Constantly posting duck face pics! (I'll talk about THAT later)Ugh..."...I bet that at least half the girls in my friends list will automatically assume that I'm talking about them. (by the way, I hide people who post duck face pictures all the freaking time...so, no, I won't have to make a status about that.) And so then they'll commence to "subposting" about me or ranting about me, or whatever it is. But honestly, why would ANYBODY elses status that you are not tagged in make you assume that it's about you? If your name is in it, then fine, get mad. But if it's not, shut up. You may think everybody has nothing else to do but talk about you, but really they do. If your conscience is THAT warped that you can take a simple status and make it about you, then you seriously need to get some therapy. If I have something to say about you, and only you, I WILL tell you. Don't bother reading too deep into my statuses to try to decipher how I am including you in it. If I do post a status such as the one above, I am almost 98% of the time talking about a wide group of people, not one specific person. Except that one time, that one time, EVERYONE knew who I was talking about...I admit that time. But she was being a butt, and I was giving her a taste of her own immature medicine. I actually kinda regret that...I said kinda.
Anyways, so, people, Facebook doesn't not revolve around you and your life. Stop assuming it does. Ya know what they say assuming does, don't ya? It makes an ASS out of U and ME! Seriously.
But that's not all folks!! For the people who CONSTANTLY are subposting and subtweeting: grow up. Grow a pair, and tell that back stabbing ex best friend, or that homewrecking ho, OR that worthless man, EXACTLY how you feel. Write it on their wall or message them for Pete's sake! Or, you know, you could just shut up about it.
Teen wife?
No, I'm not against younger couples getting married. Do what you want. What I AM against is people (ESPECIALLY the young girls) getting on facebook/twitter and complaining. I mean, I have NEVER heard so many ignorant complaints in my life. They're either "too bored", "don't have any friends", "husband works too much", "husband cheats too much"...wait, what?! Yeah. A complaint. I hate seeing these girls complain all day online about all that is "wrong" with their lives..but don't clean, don't cook supper, and if they have kids they're usually dirty and/or running wild and/or suprisingly uneducated to have had a stay at home parent for that long. If I was your husband, I'd cheat too. I'm serious. How can you NOT expect the man to look for something better?! Yes, he should be a man and just break it off...but some "men" aren't really men, now are they?
If you don't work and your husband does, then these are the basic rules to your life in my opinion: 1) supper, on the table at supper time. 2) grow the F up. 3) don't have friends? well you're online all day, find some. 4) your house should be as close to perfectly clean as humanly possible. 5) your kids should be clean, and should know more going into Kindergarten than most preschoolers. Seriously? What else are you spending all of that valuable time on? Oh yeah...duck face pictures and internet drama...If you are grown enough to get married and/or have kids...at least act like it while online. Also, you should NEVER be bored!! How can you be?! And IF for some insane reason you are, GET A JOB! Or at least a hobby that DOESN'T involve facebook.
If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck...it's a duck.
Casey Puckett...you may want to just skip right on ahead..I'm about to say that "W" word you don't like...a lot. Just warning ya...
Honestly, I don't care if you're a hoochie, a skank, a slut, a full fledged prostitue, or if you're just a whore. I don't. But if you are, and your legs haven't been reunited since you were like 13, then own it. For real. I get so annoyed when a girl will talk about how she scrogged all these guys and did this and did that, but omg if someone calls her a whore! She flips out, want's to kill you right then and there. And I'm standing there thinking "wow...guilty conscience much?!" If you sleep around, then fine, you sleep around. I'll try to refer to you as a "sleep arounder". But if you sleep around in a small town such as ours, then know this: EVERYBODY KNOWS HO! I am NOT kidding. Everybody knows that you made whoopee with the whole football team. Nobody really cares. People just have something to annoy you with now. They know it will piss you off, so they're going to harass you. How about the next time someone calls you a who..errr..."sleep arounder", instead of going off about it, how about you just say "yup, that's me." or "happens to the best of us sometimes..." and go on with your life? OR be an adult, and say "heck yeah! all day, everyday baby!!" I honestly will have more respect for a person who will admit to that, or something similar. If that's who you are, that's who you are. No, I don't particularly agree with it, but who am I to judge. I mean, I'm not going to be sharing a bottle of water with you from now on or anything...but still. I respect that you're not ashamed of your life and know who you are as a person...even if half of our home town does too.
Oh cool...So you know my imaginary friend Bob as well, huh?! Awesome...
Some people in this world lie about THE most ignorant stuff. I mean, if you shot a man and lied about that, that's halfway normal...but to lie about who you know and who you don't? Commmme onnnn...get outta here. Seriously, leave...now. It's insane and one of the dumbest things I've heard. People who lie about being "super best buddies" with other people. Especially if the person they're telling this lie to has ALSO said that they're super best buddies with that other person as well. But yet, the liar continues to say that they're close to that other person...why? I mean, how do you know that the person you're lying to doesn't know that other person?! You don't! Yes, they could be lying as well...but what if they're not? And they text the "super best buddy" and ask them why they didn't know ya'll were friends? and super best buddy is like "what?! That skank?! heck no!" where does that leave you at? Besides hunting for a fire extinguisher because your pants are on fire?!
And speaking of people lying about dumb stuff. Let's talk about people lying about drama!! For instance Sue has beef with Ann. Fine. But Sue has been telling everybody and their brother that Ann has been blowing up her phone and fb and finding out info on her and allllll kinds of nonsense stuff...I'd say they're still in highschool, but who'd believe me, what with all these 30 year olds doing this crap....anyways back to the story...So Sue's pissed. Rightfully so. So she gets on this thing about creeping on Ann's fb and lord knows what else..ya know, just to make sure Ann ain't runnin her trap! But instead of telling people that SHE saw that Ann said that "Sue is a ho.", she tells people that her cousin/friend/dog saw it instead...Why? Why drag innocent people..and apparently animals as well...into YOUR drama?! That YOU no doubt, and more than likely (I mean...You ARE a ho...Ann said so...) caused and brought upon YOURself. I have NEVER understood that. Ever. If your dog really did hear/see that Ann said that and told you...FIIIINNNNEEEE...so be it. But if I ask that dog and it says no, or nothing for that matter, I'm NEVER going to believe anything that comes out of your mouth again. If you're willing to MAKE UP a lie THAT dumb, what else are you lying about?!?!
Money don't grow on trees! Well, yeah, it kind of really does...
I am broke. Legitimately broke. I have maybe $5 in the bank and maybe $1 in change in my purse. I live pay check to pay check, and really have no spare money for luxuries. I'm not fond of that...but it's life, and I believe that God will bless me later with a better job. (Puhhhleaseeee?!?!)
Now, with that being said...I can not stand when people go on and on and on about being broke, both on facebook/twitter AND in person, but turn right around and get their nails done, go tan, or go out with friends. I'm sorry, but I'm broke and I barely half enough money to put gas in my car. So please, honey, explain to ME how I can get to be the kind of broke that you are?! Cause obviously we've been reading that definition out of two COMPLETELY different dictionaries.
Oh, so you're country and you wear THAT to work the "farm" everyday?!
I'm not entirely sure who's idea it was that redneck/country girls wear short shorts and boots all the time...but it's a lie. And a pretty dumb one at that. If you are one of those girls who go out and act like you're country and/or redneck in panties made from old blue jeans and old boots, then you, ma'am, have been watching wayyyyy too much TV. How is that even logical?! As far as I was concerned, real country girls worked on the farm all the time, how is shorts that short and boots going to be a good work outfit?! I mean, you're walking through hay fields and spreading manure and all kinds of stuff. THAT's how I know you're not as country as you put on, darlin'. Now please, go back to the corner you've obviously been apprenticing at.
I am not dancing on a pole, please refrain from throwing your money at me
People in this world are rude. I have NEVER been as rude to people as I've had people be rude to me. It drives me up the wall...and pisses me off. People who throw their money on the counter instead of placing it nicely in the hand that is held out for it...People who talk down their noses to you...People who talk to you like you're stupid just because you work in fast food or any place other than somewhere behind a desk...Those people who get mad at you when THEY messed up their own order, or changed their minds, or weren't paying attention when you repeated it back to them...those people who need their phones surgically attached to their ears...all of those people are horrible, horrible people. I HATE when they come into Berrymans! Every single one of you reading this know EXACTLY what kind of people I am talking about. Those people who obviously have good paying jobs, and/or have NEVER had to work a minimum wage job (or possibly ANY job) in their entire life, so they think they're better than you because you don't make more than $6,000 a year. Those people who talk really slow and pause until you ask "is that all?" after single thing because you asked if it was ketchup or mustard that they wanted on their burger. Those people who give you their order, then change 5 things on it, then change 5 more when they get to the window (or talk really fast or low at the speaker), and then freak out and treat you like a dog because you put lettuce on their burger. Those people in the previous statement also apply to this one as well: those people who are talking on their cell phones at the speaker and/or window, and don't answer you when you say "how may I help you?" and after you repeat it 5 times they'll tell the person on the phone to "HOLD ON! I've GOT to give my order..." like you're interrupting something important. Which it may be...but why are you carrying on a important phone call in a fast food drive thru?! It's like "oh hey honey...uh huh...yep we're having...oh, shit, I have to order my food!!!.............twins!!!" Yeah, maybe you should take your personal calls elsewhere. Although, sometimes it's entertaining when we can hear them talking about people. But it's annoying when they get to the window, realize their order was wrong, even though you repeatd it to them multiple times...they just HAD to tell Sue what Ann said at the Country Club, so, they weren't paying attention. I mean, you ARE lower than them...right?! No, no I am not. And frankly, I wish just one time I could tell people like this how ignorant they are, and WHY I AM soooo much better than THEY are! Or, go into their place of business and treat them like they've treated me. Also, why the hell would a person want to piss off the person handling their food?! I promise you, THAT is THE last thing I want to do!!
"Yeah, so we were...." "OMG! I used to be sooooooo thin!!"..."What?!"
Everybody has that one friend, or knows that one person who interupts sane conversations between others to randomly blurt out something about themselves to get the attention back to them. You hate them don't you?! Yeah, I do too. And most of the time, they say the same damn things. "I used to be so thin..", "wow...I gained allll this weight since I've been with so and so...", "omg! my this top is making my HUGE boobs fall out!! ugh...", "oh man, I just can't sit comfortably with what I'm packing...ouch man..."...blah blah blah...bullshit. Whats funny about this person, is that it's almost 99% all lies. I'm not even kidding. Especially if you've known this person for a long period of time and know that they've NEVER been that tiny size they said they used to be...or you live(lived) together and washed their clothes and KNOW for a fact that their bra is not what they claim it to be...or that they were bigger BEFORE they started this current relationship...or maybe you're a "sleep arounder" and know old dude isn't packing. Whatever the case may be, they're usually lying. More often than not, they're lying to a: get the attention back to them because they strive for it and get jealous when it's on someone else and/or they can't contribute intelligently to the current ongoing conversation. b:make themselves look better than the surrounding people. c:to brag...this also, goes with B. And they'll insert their random comments of stupidity anywhere...it doesn't even have to relate to the conversation at hand! Something I have learned about these people and why they do this; is that they HAVE to HAVE people paying attention to them. And that they usually will repeat some of the same things when they do this. Mainly it's because those are the things that they have either lied about before, so they have to repeat the lie they said to keep it straight; those are also the things that usually gets peoples attention; and most of the time, it's because they are trying to convince themselves that these lies are true. They know they're lies, and are more than likely self concious about something pertaining to the lies, but have to bring them up or else they will "remember" they're lies and stop believing them. I would really like to feel bad for them, but honestly, I can't because I can never finish a damn story around them without them blurting in something about themselves that's not even relevant! Plus, it's pathetic that people actually have to convince themselves that their lies are true. I guess if you believe it, than it's real..right? No, because you might still believe in Santa...and there ain't gonna be no man in a red velourish suit coming to give you anything for free anytime soon!!Well, I guess if you're a prostitute there might be...But I bet his name ain't Santa!
Snitches get stitches...or so I've heard...
When I was growing up, my family always taught the kids that tattle telling was bad. You didn't tattle on someone unless they did something really bad. Awesome, Kid 101, gotcha. Well, apparently it's different when you're an adult. I don't think I've ever met a child that tattles as much as most adults do. And I'm not even exaggerating. It has to be one of my top pet peeves. Now, before I go any farther...let me explain this to you. I am in no way saying that if you witness someone murder someone else, that you shouldn't tell. You really should. Because that's not very nice and also because you could go to jail as well. I'm saying that if I say "shit", everybody around me doesn't need to go tell my mom or someone else that I said it. Unless, I said "oh shit" and then passed out or something..by all means, run and tell! I can't stand a person who has to go tell a parent, an in law, a BOSS, every single thing that is done. To make matters worse, they usually blame it on others, never get in trouble (there's usually only one or two that most people are around daily, or that they work with) because they're obviously NOT going to rat themselves out, and get so pissed off when someone either calls them out on being a rat, or rats on them. They usually do worse stuff too. Not always, but a lot of the time they do. It's like being in high school all over again with all the drama and snitching. I believe I missed the "Adult tattle-telling, advanced. 101" class. I haven't quite figured out why these people are like that, but it's one of the most immature and pathetic things ever. I'm a grown ass woman. I take care of myself and tie my own shoes. I don't need someone running to some family member and telling them every single thing I do, especially if it's "bad". You're a grown ass adult, you may not take care of yourself or tie your own shoes, but legally, you're an adult. How about you worry about why you can't take care of yourself, and let ME worry about MY own awesomeness. I'm sorry you're obviously jealous of me, but tattling on me and trying to get me in trouble really just makes me want to punch you.
Honey, I think your invisibility cloak is broken...I can see you talking about me...
Since we're on the topic of tattle tales, lets discuss two faced people. Not really the same thing, but kind of is. You know those people. Those are the people who are just so happy to see you, and talk to you, and just act like ya'll are two peas in a pod. Then comes in another person. A co-worker, a mutual friend, etc. Then all of a sudden the first person doesn't really like you anymore. Neither of them talk to you, neither of them pay any attention to you unless you ask them a direct question. Then they'll disappear and go huddle up together for a minute giggling and whispering. Then, they'll glance at you while they're in their little huddle of gossip. And that's when you know that the secret topic at hand, is you. I always like to kind of sneak up on these huddles and say "oh, whatcha talking about in there?! Can I join?!"...scares the crap out of them. These are also the same people who stop talking if they see you approaching, but start up again once you're a sage distance away. Lovely. You know what I'm talking about, this has happened to every person alive, usually in elementary/middle school though. It's amusing to me honestly. Because, I don't care. They think I do. But in all reality, I don't. I have other things on my mind. But the thing that gets me, and pisses me off, is that they act like they're not doing it. If you confront them, then they either get pissy with you about it or say something smart assy. I'm usually just like "honey, I was standing right there, hiding from you hiding...and listening. It's ok that you hate me...cause obviously I've left enough of an impression that you're constantly thinking about me..." I bet people pushed them down and took their lunch money in school...and then huddled up and whispered about them in the corner!!! Ooooooooohhh, burn....Am I immature enough for your clique now?!
Duck....Duck....Duck...GOOSE!! Oh, wait, no, that's a "derp" face...
Oh. Em. Gee...I have had enough of this whole kissy lips/duck face fad. If every picture you take has you in it, making that stupid face, please go bust every camera you have and save the world from the ignorance of your lips. Please..do it now...I'll wait........
Thank you...
Anyways, I'm not sure who first came up with this face, but I'm sure Donald Duck does not appreciate posers. It's an incredibly dumb face. You don't really look like that!!!! So why make that face in EVERY, yes ALL 400 you post a day of you making said face and doing the same 5 poses in 6 different outfits over and over and over again, picture you take?! If you are not in face a DUCK!, or kissing someone...then there is NO reason for you to make that face...ever. And if you're a guy who finds that mess attractive, maybe you should get some therapy about your duck infatuation...
And the "derp" face...how I understand it, it's a face a girl makes that is kinda like the duck face with less duck lips..and more dumb/ditzy girl. Think wide unintelligent eyes, and mouth making a "oh geez! did I do that?!" shape....all innocent like...only a toddler can pull that off! After age 7, that shit don't work anymore. And for the guys who think that's "sexii az hellll"...congratulations...dateline will be knocking on your door sometime in the future, since you find that "innocent little girl" look so attractive. What happened to SMILING in pictures?! Is it THAT overrated now?! When you all look back on these pictures with your grandkids, they'll constantly ask you why you wanted to be a dumb duck for so long...
CEASE RANT!!
There are soooo many other things I could rant, rave, and poke fun at...but it's 2:30 am, and I am tired. So another night. ;)
Love & Laughter, Always.
& God Bless.
<3
:)
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