My Joshie

My husband is amazing. I say this a lot, but he really is. All wives are supposed to feel this way about their main man, I know that. Just like all moms are wired to believe that their kids are the most perfect children in the world. He truly is the most perfect man. 

Hardworking and caring. Loving and compassionate. Proud and strong. A real family man. These are just a few of his attributes. 

No person is perfect. I know that, also. I've met just few that come as close to it as he does. Perfection, in my opinion, doesn't necessarily mean being without flaw. All humans are flawed. That's nature. Perfection, is doing what is right, even if it's not what everybody else is doing. Perfection, is taking care of your family. Perfection, is standing up for what you believe in, 100%. Perfection, like most things, can be defined in any numerous ways. 

Perfection, from any husband, is putting up with the craziness that your wife calls reality. Putting up with in laws. Putting up with the bullshit and drama. Putting up with shopping trips and home decorating. Late night baking because she wants cookies and "yes, I know I said that I'm fat last night!". The emotions, the highs and the lows. The hour that it takes to get ready, no matter the occasion. The constant need for new, seemingly random and trivial, stuff. My creative outbursts. My love for books, even though he doesn't read. Those moments when I yell, because that's what I know. Those moments when I do really stupid stuff. The need to photograph every single thing and moment. When I had to have chickens, and even building me a coop. When I'm acting like a spoiled brat. Or when I quit my job. 

Being able to laugh at it all at the end of the day. A sense of humor is one of his finest qualities. My husband, the comedian. Always making me laugh and smile, even when I'm trying SO very hard to be mad. Or sad. He has shown me that just because you laugh at seemingly immature comedy, doesn't necessarily mean you're immature. He's also shown me that laughter REALLY is the best medicine, and it's so very good for your soul. And for a relationship. 

I don't say it enough, but I am so thankful. So thankful that I have him. Thankful that he's in my life and that I have someone to support me. No matter what. I'm so thankful for all the awesome people he has brought into my life. It's amazing. But, all those people helped shape him into the great man he is today. I am so very proud of him. So very proud to be able to say "yeah, he's mine." every chance that I can. 

I'm thankful be cause he accepted me for me, when few have. For loving me when it was really hard to do so. For stepping up, and being a father to my son. For being the man that my son needed/needs. For being the man that I needed/needs. For being the best Dad that I have seriously ever met in my entire life. For sticking it out when it's tough. For spoiling me when he can. For treating me like a woman. And for treating me like all women deserve to be treated. For building a home and a life with me. For supporting me through everything. For killing spiders and other creepy crawlies. For doing all the crazy things that I want to do. For putting up with me general. 

They say that a man that treats his woman like a princess was raised in the arms of a queen. That is so true. His mother is fabulous and definitely a queen. And his father is one of the best men I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. I love them both so much. They're the reason that my husband is the man he is today. When I met them, I knew that I would never be the same. I also felt the unconditional love they had for their son(s). I am so lucky to have been able to witness that! 

I'm sure people are wondering why I'm writing all this. Besides the fact that it is absolutely true. I saw an ad for a contest, for best husband/husband of the year. Some little thing where you pay to enter and it's a scam. But it got me thinking about what I would say if I were to enter Joshua into something like that. I'm sure he would be beaten out by a soldier, a survivor, a man who has conquered it all and then some, some man who saved another persons life. While they're all great, and very deserving. I don't need to enter my husband into a contest to know that he is the best. He's the best to me. He may not have fought in a war or survived some impossible thing, or saved a life. But, he did save me. 

I love you: my comedian, spider killing, loving, caring, doting, hardworking, godly,  stud muffin of an amazing bearded husband. To the moon and back, forever and ever, Amen. 

Red Chair Musings

If you had told me 10 years ago that I would be a wife and mother of 2 at 24, I would have laughed at you. I would have told you that you are silly and that you obviously do not know me very well. I would have showed you my report cards and told you about all the plans that I had for my life. Being a veterinarian was my dream and goal. I didn't want kids. I didn't want to get married. Actually, the whole thought of kids and a husband was appalling to me. 

It's funny how things change, isn't it? 

Sitting here in my little red recliner made for short people, reading a book and listening to the sleepy wisps of breath from my sweet angel and the songs from her soothe and glow seahorse over the baby monitor; I think of how much has changed. 

I've grown and changed so much. My thoughts on what makes a person happy and what makes me happy are very different than when I was 14. Obviously, I am aware that those things change in time. But at 14, I had my life figured out. However, I hadn't factored God's plan into that.

I had the world on a string, as my father so lovingly puts it, and (according to some) I dropped it. Actually, I used dull kitchen scissors and snipped that string. I had great grades and was well on my way to college. I received an almost full ride to UK. I was well on my way to being a veterinarian. My dream! My goal! And then I got pregnant. Some would think "well, there goes that...and your highschool diploma as well!". I'm pretty sure people had bets that I wouldn't complete highschool or go to college. After 5 semesters at UK, I was suspended and accepted back under probation. But, I didn't return. I decided to work for awhile. I do wish I had finished school, just so I can say that I did. The degree, at this point, doesn't even seem to matter anymore. 

Another change, so many loved ones are not here with us. Which is probably the saddest thing to me. I so would have loved a generational photo with my Nanny and babies. I can see it now, a photo of my beloved Nanny holding her namesake! A photo of my cousin Chris with Brendon Christopher, his namesake. Precious photo's that I will never have. I've written about loved ones before, but a person never truly knows the influence they have on others. A person never truly understands how influential someone is to them until they are gone. I remember stuff that my Nanny said to me when I was little. You know what I'm talking about, little tid bits of knowledge that only a grandparent can dole out to their grandkids. Stuff said in passing, that they intend to elaborate on later when said child is old enough to understand. My Nanny was full of those "tid bits", for instance:

"Always read your recipe before starting...and preheat your oven first." 

"A woman can be beautiful on the outside AND on the inside...Sometimes she needs more Mary-Kay for the outside though, and that's all right."

"Paying for your own jewelry means you can have as much you want!"

"Shoes. We need shoes. Lets get shoes." 

"Take good care of your hands and feet. You'll need those." 

" Shannon Lynn...you're too damn old to swim in the pool naked!" 

That last one has served me well over the years. There are so many things that she said to me, I'm sure she never thought about it, and definitely wouldn't think that I would remember it now. 

Like: "You can be pretty much whatever you want. You can do pretty much whatever you want. But sometimes, that's not what is best for you. And sometimes, you do stuff you don't want to do, just to make your family happy. In the end, if you're happy...then those "sometimes", they're ok. If you're family is happy, then those "sometimes", they're great. Like I said Shannon Lynn, sometimes, what you want...it's not what you need. And you don't NEED another cookie right now...*sigh*smile*...but WANTING it is half the battle, half the fun"

And, "Be nice to your sister..." 

The cliched "don't judge a book by it's cover" with a twist added "...especially if it's homeless." (One of my dad and grandpa's biggest pet peeves of hers is that she ALWAYS gave homeless people money.)

One of my favorites: "Classy ladies drink Ale8 with a straw...oh, and wear fun sunglasses!" 

People say that knowledge is power. And power is mighty. I guess everybody's definition of knowledge varies, because I'm sure the expert's would not classify "how to drink an Ale8" and "how old is too old to skinny dip" as knowledge. 

At the end of the day, my life is not what I intended it to be. It's not what I wanted 10 years ago. But it is what I need right now. And, hell, it's what I want. I'm not a veterinarian. I don't have a degree of any kind. Instead, I have a family. I have 2 of the best kids ever and an amazing husband. I have people to pass all of this "knowledge" onto. They say that you can't have the sun (or rainbow, depending on who is doling out the quotes) without the rain. I've had my fair share of rain, and right now, I'm basking under the sun. And a double rainbow, for that matter! 

Yeah, for the most part, those sometimes. They're pretty great. 

With Love, & Laughter. 
LaShannon

God Bless.

The State of Happiness is Not a Figment of My Imagination.

It feels like every time I start  a post, I include a "oh wow...it's been awhile..." prologue. I think everybody now knows that I am (unfortunately) a very inconsistent person when it comes to blogging. VERY inconsistent. So, I'm going to try to not do that anymore. Those that read my blog have already learned not to count on me to post regularly.

I do believe that the last time I posted, I was very pregnant. Baby girl arrived safely and easily, and will be 3 months old tomorrow! It's crazy how time flies.

This is where this post starts. Three months ago.

I went in to be induced November 7th. With my son, I went into labor, and ended up having a VERY traumatic experience, mostly due to the idiot doctor I had chosen. 15 year old girls do not have a very broad spectrum of people to ask about doctors. So, my doctor that time around was horrible. I chose a different doctor this time, and he was wonderful. I love them! When I went in, I was already dilated to 3, so they did all their necessary things and started me on a medicine that helps with dilation that is inserted. Then, I had my epidural at around 5 am on the 8th. Fabulous things, those epidurals. Then my precious baby started getting distressed. Contractions would hit, and her vitals would drop. This went on for a little while, then the nurse decided that I should roll to my side. Which, is a task in itself after an epidural. Then, the worse thing of the whole process happened. Her vitals bottomed out. They flipped me immediately to my other side and after a few seconds she picked back up. All the while my awesome little nurse was checking me, I was dilating at a pretty good speed and the time was getting nearer. My poor husband was beside himself, and never knew that our Cali girl was in distress until a few days after she was born. That was a miracle in itself. Finally, I was dilated to 9 and the nurse called the doctor in. As he was getting all his scrubs on, she asked me to do a "practice push". I complied. My poor doctor, half dressed, yelled "whoa! Stop! She's coming!" I was like "whaaaat?!" I had had such a horrible labor/delivery with my son, I had spent 10 months preparing myself for another. I had mentally prepared myself, and attempted to prepare my husband, for the possible outcome. And, if necessary, for a cesarean. I just knew, that I was going to be rushed in for a C-Section. As soon as my doctor was ready, I pushed two times..and she was here! It was amazing. I was in shock. How could it be that easy?! It wasn't that easy before!! 7 lbs and 11 oz. 19.5 inches long. Cali Rae Darlene Spencer, arrived at 8:32 am on November the 8th. My mom and sister, and almost all of my in-laws were there to greet her. My husband had a goofy grin on his face the entire time that I did kangaroo care and I could tell he couldn't wait to get his hands on her. Everybody came in to look at her. Everybody just ooohhed and ahhhhed. At the time I was unaware that my mother in law had sent out a mass text and told everybody to pray because Cali was in distress, that was around 8 am. Shortly there after was when her vitals started picking back up. She also sent out a mass text of her first picture ever. I didn't want any criers in the room, I didn't want to cry. And I never did cry. I smiled a lot though. And then, then Aunt Casey came in the room. Before she even laid eyes on Cali, she was saying "she's so beautiful!" I still didn't know about the text or the picture. I was like "how do you know?! You haven't even seen her! And your eyes are closed!" She cried and went on about how beautiful she was and I don't even know what else. Then, almost everybody was crying. It was beautiful in all. I wouldn't trade a minute of it.

My husband still looks at Cali with a goofy grin on his face. Casey still half cries when she sees her, and says how beautiful she is. My mother in law, Cathy aka: Yaya, does as well. Everybody is happy. So very happy.

Happy. That's a word that I haven't used to describe myself in a long time. It's always been there. At certain moments. But, it's been a long while since I could say that I am a "happy person". My son has always made me more than happy, over joyed and ecstatic at times. My husband as well. I love my family, and even though they drive me crazy for the most part, I was relatively happy around them as well. But, not ever "really happy". I don't know how to describe it. Not really the feeling of something was missing. Maybe, a feeling of being lost? I'm not sure. But, whatever it was, I felt that way. Someday I may be able to come back and update this section with the correct term. Until then, lets just say that I wasn't "really happy", whatever that means.

It's not just the birth of my daughter that has made me feel "really happy". It's my current life, I think. Maybe I've found myself. This blog post has been about 6-7 months coming. But, the other night, I really and truly realized just how blessed I am.

We've had some awful, snowy, icy and cold weather as of late. As in, my son has only went to school half of this last month. (And, he is a wild child throughout the day as a result) Because of that, and the fact that my husband works 2nd shift, I ended up having my father in law pick me up from work late one night. I got off work at 10 pm, and he was there. Shopping for rain boots, but he was there waiting on me! He usually goes to bed between 9-9:30 pm, so I felt really special that he came out to get me. On the way home, I got to thinking about how very blessed I am.

Seriously, almost crying about it. It's amazing how well things have worked out lately.

I had been looking for a job. I didn't want to return to any fast food type places. So, since I didn't really need to work unless I wanted spending money or extra money for us as a family to play with, I applied at places that I would like to work. I applied everywhere! Even to a few kitchen positions. I was to the point that I was about to resort to applying at factories, which neither I nor my husband wanted. But, I wanted to be able to buy stuff for my family without having to get the credit card or money from my husband. I wanted "my own" money, I guess you could say. So, I waited. Like any applicant does. It's really horrible waiting for that call. Just sitting. And waiting. Every. Single. Day. Cathy had officially shut down the restaurant so that freed up a ton of everybody's time. Then, Walmart called! I was so excited! I went to the interviews, and the job offering meeting. Not only was I going to get a job, but I was going to be paid over minimum wage due to the experience that I had. So far, I love it. But, I was worried about the uniform. I would have to supply that myself. I was broke. And really didn't want to ask my husband to buy my uniforms since we really needed that money for bills. Then, one of my great friends hosted a boudoir photo party. Money, on the spot. I was able to buy uniforms and some other necessities that we needed (I'll be honest, and a few things that we wanted...). Everything worked out so well.

I can't stop saying it! I'm so blessed! I just want to yell it! I'M SO BLESSED! Not quiet as effective via text though.

I have a job. I am in great health. I have a home. I have water, electric, etc. And extra stuff such as internet and satellite and a nice cellphone. I have a newer model car that is in great condition. I have a handsome, talented, intelligent, sometimes spoiled, church loving, 8 year old son. I have numerous people that I trust to watch my children, for free! I have a gorgeous, sweet, precious, smart, and extremely spoiled (girls are easier to spoil) 3 month old daughter. I have a fabulous, amazing, awesome, God loving, extremely smart and talented, loving, caring, and 100 other things husband. I have two brother & sister in laws that are great, and are literally some of the most giving people I know. Apart from my husband, I have 3 other men in my life who I can trust to get me from point A to point B if I need them to. I have an AMAZING mother and father in law that love us unconditionally. Seriously, so freaking amazing. Plus, all my other in laws that just as grand. I've gained a whole new, awesome family. I'm very, very blessed in that aspect alone. My kids and husband and other loved ones are all healthy. I love my church and church family. I just love everything!! I don't know how many times I've wanted to make my status on Facebook say: "I just love everybody today!"! Even though, I'm sure I could name "somebody's" that I most definitely do not love that day...I just feel like I love everybody. It's awesome!

It's amazing. It's amazing to me how God works everything out. Every little detail. From uniforms, to a job, to even who is going to babysit. It all has worked out. And, I believe that it will all continue to work out. He is truly amazing. The power of prayer is truly an admirable thing, as well.

Back to this whole happiness thing. I wake up happy. No, that's a lie. I open my eyes and function in zombie mode with an attitude...then an hour or so later I wake up happy. I go to bed happy. I don't stress. I've quit arguing with my parents and being more assertive with them when they try to argue with me. Surprisingly, that's working really well. I've realized that just because others want to be miserable and unhappy doesn't mean that I should be as well. I don't let people get to me as much, and am doing more to not cause friction between myself and others. Just because I know something or think something, doesn't mean it needs to be said...or posted online. Some things are better kept to myself, and sometimes it is better for others to realize things on their own, no matter how bad I think I should tell them. I make it a point to not go to bed mad anymore. Even if Joshua and I are arguing over something (which is becoming more and more less frequent), I do not let him just go to bed until we have settled it. I like Josh being on 2nd shift because I get to cuddle up to him at night. And that's one of my favorite parts of my day.

Speaking of Josh, he's playing some video game...so my train of thought has crashed about 4 times now....he's so distracting...mostly because his commentary is hilarious.

Oh, that's another blessing!! A sense of humor. I love to laugh. And I laugh more often now than I did before. My husband is hilarious. He's always cracking me up. 

There went my train of thought again....

I am constantly in awe of Gods love for me. And, I'm so undeserving of it. No matter what I do, He is there to provide for me in some way, some how.

Now, I do know that I have some friends that do not believe in God. And are atheists. Cool beans, bro. But, before you start with the comments and questions and all this. Don't. Just don't. Another blessing for me is that I do not have to validate my belief, nor do I need to push it on you. So, please, be respectful, and do the same. I am not saying that I am perfect. I am not, and never will be. I am human, therefore I sin. I'm just as fickle as the next person, and will be until the day that I die. The awesomeness of God's love, is that I'm already forgiven, no matter what! However, just because I know it will be a question that will be asked, I'll answer it for you anyways: Random person: Why do you believe? Me: Because. When I had NOTHING else to believe in, when I felt that my world was crumbling around me, and I was lost; When I so desperately NEEDED and CRAVED something to believe in...God was there. You do not come out of a crazy, messed up life such as the one I was raised with, without that need and craving. I can proudly say that I am NOT a product of my raising, and I can thank God for that. When I truly felt alone, I never really was. And never really am.

As always, with Love & Laughter,

LaShannon


God Bless. <3