As everyone has probably gathered from my previous posts, I'm not a very consistent type of person. At all. I won't pretend to be. I tend to blog about whatever strikes me at the time. Whatever thought goes through my constantly overworked mind, has potential to be blogged about. Especially if it is a thought that I think often. Or something that I feel passionate about. I'm quite random in my posts, and in my life as well. I'm also a chaotic mess, and a whirlwind stress machine. Yeah, I'm THAT woman. That woman who stresses about everything, even the tiny minute things that normal people shouldn't and wouldn't stress about. The woman who is constantly doing something (and is probably stressed about doing it), constantly driving somewhere, always writing out "To-Do Lists" and then rewriting another for the next day that's almost identical to the previous days one. Yep, that's me.
Now, with that little bit of background info out of the way, on to my post!!
So, You Want to be a Perfect Momma...
Just stop. Don't even try. It's too much. It'll drive you insane. Seriously. I'm not even joking. Just be your normal self and get on with life. I tried it, and even though I only have one kid, it's still insanely hard to do. So, I stopped trying and decided to be just be me.
I guess I should get into why this post is being written in the first place. Recently my child has went from precious angel to "oh my god! where were you spawned?!" He's been back talking more, cussing, saying extremely mean and hurtful things, and just in general being an all around butt head. Seriously. Now, some of you may be in shock that I just said that. But you must know that I would never call my child names. However, if he's acting like a butt head, then he's being a butt head. Simple as that. Also, many people judge my "parenting style". I wasn't even aware that I HAVE a parenting style. I admit, I do raise my son differently than most. I'm a firm believer in allowing kids to express themselves and just be themselves in general. Why hinder what society is going to try to take from them in the future?? Anyways, I also read a book that I bought on my Kindle (well, I read most of it and still lack maybe a chapter left), it was called "Scary Mommy". One of the BEST books I have ever read in my life. It's all true, what is contained in that book. A very down to earth, to the core, book about being a mother. It covers everything down to the nitty gritty dirty details. I LOVED it, and highly reccommend it to everyone. I also agree with pretty much everything that this woman talks about! It was amazing.
SO, here goes.
Being a perfect mother is damned near impossible. I know many women who claim and seem to be, on the outside anyways, to be a "Perfect Mother". But I also know that they are liars and frauds. Ain't nobody got nothing on June Cleaver! And I'm not even sure she was perfect since I never watched "Leave It To Beaver". Almost every "Perfect Mother" that you see has a tiny secret. A hidden jewel that they hide away to help them get through day to day life. It also usually varies. I'm not going to reveal any because I don't want to oust anyone, but they do. Trust me on this.
I know PM's who have perfectly groomed kids when they go out in public or are expecting company, but if you surprise them at home unawares, their kids barely match. Hair is going everywhere, they're covered in PB&J, one sock on, usually in their underwear, and running around like little screaming midgets. And where is Mom in all this? Usually still in her PJ's, on the couch watching Maury or Jerry Springer, like it ain't no thing. Cause it's not. It's perfectly okay to let your kids go wild and streak through your house when you're home alone. That's fine. And, yes, they should be dressed and look somewhat like normal humans when you go out in public or have company over. But there is a line. A line that most of the women like this have crossed. If you have a closet/dresser of clothes that are all name brands and the ONLY time your children where them is when you are under the magnigying glass of others, then you may be this kind of woman.
What about those mothers who themselves are always perfectly coifed and posed like they're heading to a family magazine photo shoot? Yeah, they do the above stuff too. Out in public: perfect hair, perfect make up, perfect name brand clothes to match their perfect kids' name brand clothes, everything matching...etc. And then you're standing there like "Did I miss a memo on proper attire at McDonalds?!" in your holey jeans, and baggy T-Shirts covered in God knows what. And she's over there looking all perfect and staring down her nose at you, but in reality, she looks worse than you do when she's at home. In her baggy sweats, holey shirt, and covered in dirt and God knows what. Yep, they're out there too.
And what about those Momma's who take their kids to "dirty places" and then FORBID them to get dirty? (I.E. the park, sand box, lake, beach...etc. basically anywhere that is outside) Yeah, we all know what I think about dirt and kids. It's necessary to raise any child, especially a little country bumpkin. Kids need to get dirty! And why take them somewhere that there is dirt and then forbid them to even look at it? How do you expect them to go outside if they can't even step on the dirt?! Crazy talk I say!!!
Organic food. That's another thing. I'm not saying it's not better for your kids. All I'm saying is if all you feed your kids is organic food, and have told me this numerous times, then you come to Berrymans and scarf down 3 chili dogs and a 32 oz shake, then theres a problem. You should never feed your kids something, and ONLY that, when you're going to turn around and eat 1,000 grams of fat in one sitting. It's not fair. And your child should eat a corn dog sometime. It's easier on you and saves time, and your kids will be TONS happier. If you can't bear to stomach the same food you're asking your kids to, then maybe you shouldn't be asking your kids to eat it. I'm just saying.
Also, I cuss. I cuss a LOT! I know this. All my close friends and family know this. I accept this. I've tried to stop, or slack up on it, but it seriously feels good to let loose a "shit!" or "dammit" every now and then. I do cuss in front of my son. No I don't particularly feel happy about that, nor do I like that I do it. But it's who I am. Now, that being said, My son does know quite a string of curse words. I'll admit that. Does he say them? Not in front of me. He knows what soap tastes like! (we'll talk about this later on in the future.) He has let loose a few in his day, but instantly realizes its a bad word and it's not a constant every day thing. Now, for the mom's who are probalby thinking "OMG!! What a horrible Mom!!" well, I'd tell you what I'M thinking, but it'd be a lot of curse words. I've seen Mom's who don't cuss in front of their kids, and that's nice to say "sugar!" whereas I'd say "shit!" when you break a nail. But I've also seen those same moms tell their kids that they are "being dumb", "getting pudgy", "acting like a fool"...plus tons of other things. I've heard moms tell their 12 year old daughters that they don't need to eat that small ice cream cone because it looks like her cheer outfit is already getting a little tight. Or tell their young sons that they're being a baby, and acting stupid. I'm sorry, and correct me if I'm wrong and if you dare, but me saying "fuck" in front of my 6 year old is only adding creativity to his future teenage rants and spicing up his hidden vocabulary. Whereas, telling your child they are fat or stupid is going to take tons of money from your pocket when they need therapy later on because they are failing in school because they think they're stupid or have an eating disorder because you've been calling them fat since they were 5. Again, I'm just saying. And that's my opinion, take how you see fit.
I understand, I really do. You think, and probably have read, that that's the best way to raise kids. So it may not be your fault that that is how you raise your babies. But when the majority of the things you do (such as the clothing and such) is nothing more than a flimsy facade, then you should really just cut loose, save some time and money and be you. Chances are, you're a pretty damned good Momma anyways. Without all that nonsense that your 2 year old has no desire to understand because all she wants to do is chew on dirt instead of tofu crap. I understand that a lot of these moms want to give their kids the things they never had. But there's probably a reason your parents didn't buy you a $400 gaming system when you were 5. They KNEW you'd just cram a PB&J sandwich in it after a month. Your child doesn't need to wear expensive name brand clothes. They're just going to wear them 3 times and out grow them. You're kid needs to eat other food besides tofu and vegetables all day (and they should have some veggies everyday, just not all day and only that.), they need and want candy sometimes. Just like when that time of the month strikes, and all you want is a Snickers bar, they want it just as bad. And sometimes worse because THEY have NEVER HAD IT. Let your kids let loose and get that $100 shirt dirty. (Or don't buy a $100 shirt for your child, either or.)
I'm not saying you're horrible parents. Because, honestly, I say "shit" in front of my child often. And there are days when I'm not so sure he's had ANY vegetables at all. But lets cut the bullshit. A lot of moms like the above mentioned, do it soley for keeping up with appearances. Not becuase they want to and that's who they are. And a lot of them, really do say "shit" in front of their kids when they're not in public. And are not 100% sure if that apple is organic or not, but hell, they're gonna let them eat it anyways because they're tired of checking and double checking. And a lot of them are going to strip their kids of their expensive clothes when they get home and put them in "Garanimals" Wal-Mart (thank God for Wal-Mart and $6 outfits!!) clothes and let them loose. It's ok.
It's ok to be so stressed out from hauling your kids around to all kinds of activities every day and searching through the grocery for one more organic potato for supper that you scream and yell and cuss. It's ok if when your 13 year old daughter smarts off for no reason and pisses you off, for you to think "you little brat (or bitch, whatever applies to the situation)!" and want to smack the sass right out of her. Just don't say it out loud and don't smack her. Or when your 16 year old son comes in with a hickey or a new piercing he let his friends give him, It's perfectly ok to think "you punk!" or whatever else applies and goes with your obvious extensive vulgar mental vocabulary.
It really is ok to NOT be perfect.
Perfection of the parent degree, comes from loving your kids. Your kids will think you're perfect no matter what. As long as you love them, and teach them, and show them that even though you say dirty words when you get mad that you STILL love them. And to provide for them everything they need (and ocassionally want. Hey, gifts are nice.). All that other stuff, it's at the bottom of my very long "To-Do list". Heck, I don't even know what tofu is. Nor do I want to. And because of that, my son has a very strong liking for cheese burgers and fries. Which is convenient, because that's my favorite food.
I must go boil my son some eggs for lunch. So I leave you with this: No matter what you do in life, being a mother is the biggest obstacle you'll ever face, and the biggest accomplishment you'll ever gain. Do it your way, which is the right way. Don't fuck this up! ;)
With Love & Laughter.
God Bless.<3
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| Brendon with his name in the sand at Bell-Air beach this past week on vacation. :) |
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