If you had told me 10 years ago that I would be a wife and mother of 2 at 24, I would have laughed at you. I would have told you that you are silly and that you obviously do not know me very well. I would have showed you my report cards and told you about all the plans that I had for my life. Being a veterinarian was my dream and goal. I didn't want kids. I didn't want to get married. Actually, the whole thought of kids and a husband was appalling to me.
It's funny how things change, isn't it?
Sitting here in my little red recliner made for short people, reading a book and listening to the sleepy wisps of breath from my sweet angel and the songs from her soothe and glow seahorse over the baby monitor; I think of how much has changed.
I've grown and changed so much. My thoughts on what makes a person happy and what makes me happy are very different than when I was 14. Obviously, I am aware that those things change in time. But at 14, I had my life figured out. However, I hadn't factored God's plan into that.
I had the world on a string, as my father so lovingly puts it, and (according to some) I dropped it. Actually, I used dull kitchen scissors and snipped that string. I had great grades and was well on my way to college. I received an almost full ride to UK. I was well on my way to being a veterinarian. My dream! My goal! And then I got pregnant. Some would think "well, there goes that...and your highschool diploma as well!". I'm pretty sure people had bets that I wouldn't complete highschool or go to college. After 5 semesters at UK, I was suspended and accepted back under probation. But, I didn't return. I decided to work for awhile. I do wish I had finished school, just so I can say that I did. The degree, at this point, doesn't even seem to matter anymore.
Another change, so many loved ones are not here with us. Which is probably the saddest thing to me. I so would have loved a generational photo with my Nanny and babies. I can see it now, a photo of my beloved Nanny holding her namesake! A photo of my cousin Chris with Brendon Christopher, his namesake. Precious photo's that I will never have. I've written about loved ones before, but a person never truly knows the influence they have on others. A person never truly understands how influential someone is to them until they are gone. I remember stuff that my Nanny said to me when I was little. You know what I'm talking about, little tid bits of knowledge that only a grandparent can dole out to their grandkids. Stuff said in passing, that they intend to elaborate on later when said child is old enough to understand. My Nanny was full of those "tid bits", for instance:
"Always read your recipe before starting...and preheat your oven first."
"A woman can be beautiful on the outside AND on the inside...Sometimes she needs more Mary-Kay for the outside though, and that's all right."
"Paying for your own jewelry means you can have as much you want!"
"Shoes. We need shoes. Lets get shoes."
"Take good care of your hands and feet. You'll need those."
" Shannon Lynn...you're too damn old to swim in the pool naked!"
That last one has served me well over the years. There are so many things that she said to me, I'm sure she never thought about it, and definitely wouldn't think that I would remember it now.
Like: "You can be pretty much whatever you want. You can do pretty much whatever you want. But sometimes, that's not what is best for you. And sometimes, you do stuff you don't want to do, just to make your family happy. In the end, if you're happy...then those "sometimes", they're ok. If you're family is happy, then those "sometimes", they're great. Like I said Shannon Lynn, sometimes, what you want...it's not what you need. And you don't NEED another cookie right now...*sigh*smile*...but WANTING it is half the battle, half the fun"
And, "Be nice to your sister..."
The cliched "don't judge a book by it's cover" with a twist added "...especially if it's homeless." (One of my dad and grandpa's biggest pet peeves of hers is that she ALWAYS gave homeless people money.)
One of my favorites: "Classy ladies drink Ale8 with a straw...oh, and wear fun sunglasses!"
People say that knowledge is power. And power is mighty. I guess everybody's definition of knowledge varies, because I'm sure the expert's would not classify "how to drink an Ale8" and "how old is too old to skinny dip" as knowledge.
At the end of the day, my life is not what I intended it to be. It's not what I wanted 10 years ago. But it is what I need right now. And, hell, it's what I want. I'm not a veterinarian. I don't have a degree of any kind. Instead, I have a family. I have 2 of the best kids ever and an amazing husband. I have people to pass all of this "knowledge" onto. They say that you can't have the sun (or rainbow, depending on who is doling out the quotes) without the rain. I've had my fair share of rain, and right now, I'm basking under the sun. And a double rainbow, for that matter!
Yeah, for the most part, those sometimes. They're pretty great.
With Love, & Laughter.
LaShannon
LaShannon
God Bless.
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